Wednesday, April 25, 2007

homicidal maniac lookalike

i have just turned on the film doctor strangelove and have noticed the following two people both look and act exactly the same.

Jack D Ripper

George W Bush

it worrys me that jack d ripper is a fictional charector and bush isnt yet they are both hellbent on killing inncodent people. what worrys me more is that the most powerful man in the world right now has trouble holding a telephone up the right way.

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Thursday, April 19, 2007

Video podcast - No More Flan For Fatty

my second video now up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

last week i composed a poem for the slam idol poetry competition and desided to ask madge weinstein from to perform this on her video cameras. you have to click this link then wait where it will appear but is very slow if you are not at work or the library. it contains words and gestures.

when it apears on slam idol please please please please vote for me and madge!!!!!!!! i have included the transcript of the poem i sent in the email to be performed should anyone need it. thankyou to madge for recording.


I reguallly sit near a girl on my bus ride to work who is in her early thirties, has long red hair with matching face and has let herself go over the years. Often I wonder what it is like to be her and have decided to compose my thoughts into a poem for you. It is a poinient verse about a unnammed lady in crisis struggling with achiving outer buetey and inner peace and wrestling with a past love. Its called 'No More Flan for Fatty'.if you could do it to the tune of the argos commercial that would be nice, if not then dont woorry.

Number 38 bus
Size 38 booty
Go on, look at me and stare
Running down the street for my ride

I knew of love once
In my childhood days
Prepubencent memorys
Before Barry and his tuck shop

Panting and groaning
I waddle on board the bus
my layers of ankles
dripping with sweat and milk

Loves young dream, we passed notes in class
there wasn't a pubic convenience that could contain our passion
The eyes of love do not recognise bronchial disorders
We just be Sippin on gin n grease

As the driver demands the tarriff
I fumble in my leather purse
My large cumbersome fingers
Groping for money otherwise spent on food

I never used to be like this
My 18th birthday I caught him feeding
feeding with another, much larger than I
Making me more determed to be someone bigger, larger, better and chubbier

I clumsely waddle down the isle
My beady eyes scan the mass transit for a place to sit
Before the bus increases its velocity (winks slowly)
I need to park this blomondge of an ass pronto

Saw Barry just last week
Boy, that hairy grease bitch still looks good. (inserts middle+ring finger into mouth sideways to camera X 4)
Jelously as I observe he's with a new girl
This time shes a skinny

Diet from now on, wash away those bed sores
Cleaning up my act for barrys new tastes
say goodbye to them roaches in my crotch
There aint no more flan for fatty

hoe hoe hoe
green giant

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

exited about poetry

i recently composed a poem to enter into the slam idol poetry podcast, instead of recording it i have asked madge weinstein to perform it as she has video aparatus. aparently the video will be ready to download tomrrow to everyone on insane films, i am already downloadingg the preview overnight and cant wait until tomorrow. however i will have 2 wait until tomrrow due to modems.

today has been non-eventful. the only sparkle in the water of my dull life has been observing the goings on of iain mcshane. i plan to cut my toenails later and also sleep.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

give someone enough rope and they'll hang themselves

that is silly. if i was due to be hung i would ask for lots of rope which would give me more chance of reaching the floor.

two of the most popular downloaded videos on the internet. saddam hussain and ask a ninja.