evening at the psychologist

had a double session at the psychologist tonight because there was so much to talk about. i've been finding it hard to keep to the routine and breathing that he recommended, i've been taking the detours on the way home and finding it hard to keep in the house at nighttimes. bored with my film collection and it is so lonely waiting for skype to ring, i find more comfort walking around outside in the fresh air. i think that it is good for me.

i know that it is not normal, but then again what is these days?looking through the windows of peoples houses i see them sitting in their living rooms glued to the televisions. it is normal to do this - i don't think mans body was intended to 'normally' sit on a sofa all day though - something is going wrong with society in my eyes. i watch many people wandering through the streets of guildford at night, usually with dogs, their girlfriends or cans of cider - i guess its just my way of walking a dog - just in the same way that married men go fishing to avoid their wives. if i was married then i would never go fishing but stay at home and make love at my wife while listening to todd cochrane infront of an open fireplace. or just cuddle and watch holby city if they are on that week.


so lucky

all i want to do is be treated by my colleges as normal, to keep my head down in life and get married by the time i am 25. i guess that this blog is a good way for me to share my concerns, but people sometimes judge me and write hurtful emails to me. i just want to keep my head down and live my life, but i get a lot of encouragement to podcast and speak my mind. next thing i know people are calling me names on websites and podcasts, i guess i shouldnt beleieve encouragement when i see it as they might just be winding me up like at school.my psychologist suggested to either stop blogging and go back to writing in my scrapbooks or to create a new blog and not use my real name - i really like using the internet a lot but you can't draw or attach objects like you can with a scrapbook. its also public, i always thought that a problem shared is a problem halved but these voices just add to my problems. he said its good to get things out of my system by writing but i should be talking to people about them too as it helps. i feel that writing this has helped me.



anyway its almost midnight and i'm getting twitchy and need a beverage. night night.

• Avoid walking or running alone at night. Instead go walking or jogging with a friend.
• Don't use headphones while walking, driving or jogging.
• Always walk in well-lit areas.
• Avoid the use of short cuts.
• After dark, keep away from large bushes or doorways where someone could be lurking.
• Always stay near the curb.
• If someone in a vehicle stops and asks for directions, answer from a distance. Do not approach the vehicle.
• If followed, go immediately to an area with lights and people. If needed, turn around and walk in the opposite direction, your follower will also have to reverse directions.
• Do not display cash openly, especially when leaving an ATM.

Stay safe