Vote jeremy corbyn for a better social life

i am so fed up and angryby not having any money to go out at weekends when all my friends are out. i feel like i am missing out on all the fun while i just sit at home watching tv. i know i dont have a job but would like to be able to go out and have a nice time and maybe meet a nice pretty girl.  i blame my problems on the goverment and will happily vote for the next prime minister who promises the following:

1. cheap heating
2. cheaper meats and cleaning products, discounts for disabled people. i could not afford steak and oven cleaner today and had to chose one or the other. people shouldnt have to choose the basics because of inflation, if i am struggling can you picture how a retard is coping now?
3. free broadband
4. more homecare to wash mother who is bedridden because she fat and covered with lupus. i now have to stay at home and oil her instead of a qualified nurse when i should be looking for work.
5. free mobile phone top up so i can get a job
6. less tax on drink and cider so i can go out at weekends for a better quailty of life
7. the govenment should pay for more jobs,, especially indoor ones 
8. more benefits so can afford to go out at weekends to improve my social life and get Sky+
9. faster computers for the poor so i can use it to get training and a job. mine cant run tyoutube sites very fast and i'm on it for at least 3  hours a day, if it was faster i could spend more time trying to get job and less time buffering
10. cheaper buses
11. improve benefits for ex-offendeds a s is harder to find jobs,no one wants to hire them also wipe records after 3 months. if they dont have a crimal record when they are cuaght again after 3 moths they wont be classed as a repeat offender so improving crime stats.
12. less money spent on war so england can pay for these types of things that i need

i am looking towards the labour party to provide these items as they seem to be on the same page as me. i know Jeremy Corbyn is old and looks like a disgraced scout master but you should never judge a book by its cover, esepcially an old book in a coudroy cover and grey socks that got done for flashing in a caravan. if he lives up to all the promises hes made to the poor simply by borrowing money from china and taxing successful people then he will make the world a better place and i can enjoy life again. i can turn a blind eye to all that weird stuff he says and does.

vote jeremy corbin