Podcast - the shitting cashier from Sainsburys

why cant i get good old fashioned casual sex? why does everything have to be complicated? i wont give away any names, and i certainly wont be buying any food from Sainsburys if thats what the staff do. not a good night, i've a good mind to write a letter of complaint to the newspaper and trading standards about false advertising.

(changed the link on 01/04/2005 as the old one doesnt work with 'fire walls')

shownotes:

• date goes well
• date goes wrong

thank you to rizzn.net for the free hosting. any normal single women listeners please email me. please.

Hot date? Picked up the personel adverts earlier on in the local paper and left a message. Shes just called back and wants to go out on a date!!!!!! Wow!!! Will bring along my phone and record how i get on. 

Adam Curry 100% unofficial fan site launched

I';ve had a busy lunch break launching my new web site and uploading my photo collection up to the web. If you're an adam curry fan like me and enjoy looking at photos of him then why not visit the Adam Curry 100% unofficial fan site at :-

http://rogersmalls.tripod.com/AdamCurry/

for great pictures and more.




if you have any adam curry photos or maybe an adam curry story to tell then please email me at roger_smalls@hotmail.co.uk and i'll pop it up on my new web site. why not let me know what you think and leave me a comment.

i havent really got any stories to tell yet, but one day i'd like to tell the story of how adam gets a knighthood for his services to broadcasting. i think being like adam is an inspiration to us all to get off our backsides and actually do things. adam invented podcasting and continues to help it thrive. one day there will be part of adam in all of us.

Creep

Important animation - http://www.lowmorale.co.uk/creep/



When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice when I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell I'm doing here?
I don't belong here

She's running out again
She's running out
She runs runs runs

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here

Tip for silver Volvo owners

Did you know that when you brought your car that you got supplied with 4 flashing orange lights on each corner of your vehicle. these are called 'indicators'. these 'indicators' are used to 'indicate' to other people that you intend to move your car in a specific direction.

lets say for example there is a pedestratian going to work. lets call him roger smalls. now roger intends to cross the road, but will wait until he thinks it is safe to cross. now roger is under the illusion that it is safe because a silver Volvo going 50MPH down a road isnt suddenly going to turn left onto the road that roger is crossing. so roger walks accross and almost gets killed, then receiving a load of obsenitys and lude gestures from a man using a mobile phone.

now lets say hyperthetically that the owner of the silver Volvo tried using his 'indicator' device, operated by a small stick next to the stearing wheel. 2 orange lights would start flashing and roger would know to wait until it is safe to cross, thus saving a lot of hassel and agravation. it must have been a really important phone call though to warrent killing someone.

Andrew Russell

not much happening tonight, seems my friends all are staying in tonight with their girlfriends. have been mulling around the house trying to keep it clean. neighbours making the usual racket next door. no emails. no comments. no msns. anyone else as bored as me in the world?

its times like these that i turn to Mr Andrew Russell and his web site at www.qwe.com . Andrew has it all. Andrew has a good job. Andrew has the all american good looks. Andrew has a nice house. Andrew has a nice Filipino wife, Giegie. He pretty much photographs everything that moves and almost everything that doesnt , and then puts it on his web site. I found his site quite by accident by typing in the first 3 letters on the keyboard to see who's web site cropped up. i shouldnt be envious of other people, but i wish i was Mr Andrew Russell. Or Adam Curry.


Andrew



Andrew


Andrew


Andrew


Andrew


Andrew and Giegie


Andrews cool TV and Giegie

Visit the only web site sporting 10,000 pictures of Mr Andrew Russell at www.qwe.com

Attacks

Take a look at this news story about someone getting attacked : -

BBC news



Who is to blame? By the looks of things 2 wicked men are to blame for doing this horrible thing.

But when i read about all the attacks happening to the internet explorer browser it seems that microsoft is always blame. i dont understand.

maybe firefox users should blame the old women in the news story for not using army strength locks? i have been told at work to use firefox for looking at the internet because it is 100% safe, but still have to use internet explorer on our test results system because firefox is incompatible. its all very confusing,.

i dont mind which computer browser i use, but when someone diliberatly trys to break something then maybe point the finger of blame at the hackers and criminals?

who is safest, a precautios person who knows they are at risk or a complacient person who thinks they are 100% safe? i dont think anything is 100% safe.

Human skin clothing

Wow! How cool is this? Bags and jackets made from human skin. I wish i could find a price for these and if you can specify male or female.

the website is all in french : http://www.skinbag.net

podcasting update

sorry no podcasts for a while, having free hosting problems, will try and resolve them soon. i am under the imrpession that adam currys new podshow web site will allow me to host my own mp3s. i wish the whole thing was easy and free. i dont have a lot of money or a computer science degree so have to rely on the tools out there to do the job. when a free peice of software comes out that does all the blogging, posting and things then i will go out and buy a microphone for my computer.

i will send stuff to madge and the feast of fools when i've heard the latest shows - havent heard their shows or had any emails for a while - hope i havent upset anyone in chicago!!! madge, falco and adams shows are all creeping up in file size ( i think the last madge ones are reaching 60meg which take AGES to download). when every podcast reaches this size it means the phone is perminatly on and i have to start making choices as to what i listen to even though i have plenty of time to listen to it.

i'm not fussed about stereo or mono or the quality, maybe they could do a smaller rss file for listeners who arenot bothered about the quality or whos shows wont manage an overnight modem download. 10 megs is a nice round number. i think what they have to say is more inportant than the quality, why do you think all those mucky telephone chat lines make so much money? the quality isnt perfect but you can still make out the grunting.

now i know what the digital divide means. broadband is so expensive in the uk that you have to go to the public library or use the work computers at lunch like i am now. over the weekend i ended up subscribing to some shorter podcasts to listen to becase the top rated ones are way too big for modems. i like lots of little podcasts. it would be nice to have broadband for using the skype program. i tried it on the modem and it didnt work at all. curse you 56k blue Lasat box!!! gonna be in trouble if i download all my podcasts at work but am getting withdrawel symptoms.

amazon havent paid out any cash yet. how do people make money from their blogs, can someone post some comments about this please? In the mean time....




jack la lanne, jack la lanne, he does whatever a spider can.

arse magic

A colluege has been on holiday for a while to the carribean and is now sitting at her desk with a nice tan. i've counted 14 people that she has told that she has been on holiday, and every single one of them has asked "Anywhere nice?". of course shes gone somewhere nice, shes come back smiling and has lovely bronze skin. noone in their right mind is going to deliberatly book their holidays somewhere that isnt nice. i havent heard of many people who go into a travel agent and ask for two weeks in a rubbish tip.


Q."Anywhere nice?" - A."No".

it looks like 'Anywhere nice' seems to be embedded in the english phrase book. if i were to own a travel agents i would call it "anywhere nice" - the advert practically writes itself.

it has always been my dream to go abroad one day. some peple complain that they hate traveling for a living, personally i would love a job where i get to fly around from country to country. i love airports. they are so exciting. i would love to sit in an airoplane, even in the uncomfortable seets. and to be in another place where everything is different would be such a nice change. if any couriers, sales rep managers or drug smugglers are looking for work then please email me.

it is time for a change of jobs soon i think. the industry i work in means i cant move up, only accross. not sure what field to go. it seems like i cant get payed to do things i enjoy doing. instead i sort through results all day long.

Terri Schiavo

Poor old Terri. 51% of americans gave a brain dead vegitable a chance last year, so george bush is repaying the favour to terri and keeping her going. but is this any of our business? not knowing Terri i dont think i have any right to say if she stays or goes, good luck to her. maybe what they should do is to pop her in a wheelchair and send her round by remote control and pretend she's speaking via a walkie talkie - steven halkings puppeteers have made a fortune on the leacture circuit doing this.


steven hawkings and madge weinstein

my weekend hasnt been very productive, had to work one day. been tidying up house. had physio for the leg, getting better. hard when its a women and i've got to take off my trousers and prevent myself from getting a semi. got up once in my grey skinnies and had a massive wet patch showing, how embarressing?.


bad

psychologist on friday is making progress too. good to talk about problems. i find that using this blog helps too in airing my problems. a problem shared is a problem halved i guess, so with 16 regular subscribers this certainly helps to talk. its also really nice to talk to people on the MSN messenger too. the trouble is that my psychologist looks and sounds just like boycie from 'only fools and horses', and i find it hard not laugh, especially when he smokes a thin cigar and blows it over me. i am trying to find local support groups where i can talk to other sufferers, the internet offers me little solice and support. the dreams lessen and my phobias are not as dark, reactions are not as sudden, so the sessions do help.


Try curing your phobia with this man

Yeast Books

Feast without Yeast by Mr Bruce Semon - £10.75 from Amazon
Nice name for an author



The Yeast Connection - £7.47 from amazon
Sounds like a film



Ralph Loren Loafers - $1495 from Amazon
I'm wearing a pair right now and recommend that everyone else does to.



Amazon tip :
If you have got Parkinsons Disease you might want turn off the "One Click Ordering" feature on Amazon.


Thanks tim for the nice MSN chat by the way.

complaining neighbors

next door are really doing my head in. they have complained before christmas about the dutchess being in the garden so i've had to keep her inside over winter. keeping her in the lounge has meant that i cant sleep on the sofabed anymore, and its not good for mums helth for me to be in bed late most nights. cant find a trustworthy free farmer who wont try and eat her, so the dutchess went outside again yesterday and the neighbours have already started complaining after one stupid day.


Dirty protest

not sure what to do now but my neightbours have been banging on the walls all night just becuase there are a couple of lumps of turd that i havent got round to picking up yet. i can understand in the summer with the heat and the flys, but at the moment its not exactly bad weather for blowing smells about. little do they know that i usually throw the shit behind their air conditioner unit.


Fred is one lucky bastard

so i'm back to playing the stereo up to 25 and delibaratly drilling holes in the wall in the middle of the night. they really annoy me so much. i have tried making them buscuits as an olive branch but they were really rude and told me to shove the buscuits up my arse. i'm never going round there for lunch if thats how they prepare food. the sad thing is his wife is actually very attractive and curvy, they have no reason to be mad at me anymore as i cleaned and returned the bra back to the washing line. sod it, if they want to start round two with me then i'm up for a war. there no way i can have mum being disturbed in the middle of the night while these two pichards keep thummping the wall. keep your friends close and your enemys even closer. i just wasnt expecting that apply to the property ladder.



Be the envy of your neighbours by wearing this luxury mink coat when fetching the mail in the mornings - only $7895 from Amazon - click here

bring you daughters to work day

why oh why do some collegues think that an office full of people trying to work would have any interest in their screaming little kid? the office is no place for a baby, just as a nursery is no place for a group of adults who are trying to work in peace.

work has seased completly for the last 1 hour becuase a little brat is dribbling, crawling around on the floor and wetting its pants, and we all have to move stuff out of harms way.

1 hour x 14 people = 28 man hours work wasted.

if anyone says 'isnt she cute' anymore i will scream! and why are peoples babies always '3 months ahead' of everyone elses? and whats the obsession with how much someone wieghs when they are born? noone gives a toss how heavy someone is when they die.

next time someone wants to bring their daughter to work make sure they are over 18 years old, and i'll be the one dribbling, crawling around on the floor and wetting my pants.


Evil spawn of satan


Come back when you look like this (ignore the ones on the far left and far right)

Bidirectional Podcasting

Madge saw this about sending back comments to podcasters on her site.

I found this code and modified it to email me coments directly from the blog entry., i think it works if are reading the blog or useing an agggregator. if you change the action to point to your email address or web site instead it means you can have a nice tidy way of getting every going to the right place. perhaps for different shows you could pint to different addresses.

Send Roger Smalls your audio comments and nuddy pics now:

if anyone does want to send me an audio comment to play then i will play it on my show. noone has yet.

Amazon Affiliates Scheme

Sad to say that Madge Weinstein, Mr Adam Curry and Falco do get it wrong sometimes. All their Amazon affiliate scheme items aim too low - coffee machines, books and computer games - in return Amazon give them 5 percent - peanuts for these cheap items.

So if you'd like to help me get some money from Amazon and you are in the market for a 42 inch plasma tv or you are just good at getting your money back for things you dont need then please click on these links and get spending:


Sony KDE-42XS955 42" Widescreen WEGA Plasma Flat-Panel TV with Integrated HDTV Tuner - $5499 from Amazon

Canon EOS 1Ds Mark II 16.7MP Digital SLR Camera - $7,999.99 from Amazon

Exclusive Jean Paul Gaultier Hermes Birkin Bag (Free Standard Shipping) - $15000 from Amazon


If i can help amazon to shift a few of these items then i can go on holiday listening to a brand new mp3 player. also my computer is on its last legs and i cant afford to get it fixed so if Adam Currys wife is reading this and fancies buying a couple of the Jean Paul Gaultier $15000 handbags then you'd be helping me buy a new computer.

Alternativly if you are definatly buying somethiing expensive from amazon just email me the amazon page and i will make it into an affiliate link right away, you can click on it and i'll make 5 percent. thanks in advance. (also big thanks to my cousin for setting all this up for me too!)

Always aim higher.

MSN Messenger

Hello, someone in my department has worked out how to install MSN messenger, so we are all chatting to each other!!! if anyone would like to say hello then i will be able to chat to you. i will downlaod it tongiht at home and you can message me there to. you can add me to your list of people as 'roger_smalls@hotmail.co.uk'. i look forward to talking to you. this is the first chat room i have been in for free.

Gail Porter suicide attempt

Just read that Gail Porter tryed to kill herself. that is very sad news that such a pretty young lady would want to end her life as she has so much going for her. she is so lovely and the kind of lady i want to marry.


cheer up gail.

it only takes one bad apple

ipods for geeks


ipods for shoppers


ipods for buildings


ipods for groups


ipods for cars


ipods for the poor


ipods for the rich


ipods for everyone


huh?


i am saving up to buy an mp3 player, not sure what type yet - if everyone has an ipod and apple tells me to think differently then surely i would be better to buy something else? i have already made up my mind i think anyway...

i went into virgin megastore recently with a friend and commented to them about the double price of the ipods in britan compared to america and that it seems unfair to have to pay so much. as i walked away the apple representive repeated what i said to her friend in a mocking tone and called me an tight arsehole behind my back (incase you didnt know - hearing aids help the wearer hear things better - not worse). i didnt want to say anything becuase i am quite shy and didnt want to maake a scene , howevr since then it has been going over and over in my head and really getting to me. for that reason i have decided not to buy any apple products because in some small way my hard earned money is going towards paying her wages.

in my opionion if a company employee mistreats you , rather than simply bite your lip - instead try not shopping with them any more. i have been purposefully splashed by a parcel force van and almost run over - so i dont use them at work for the external post anymore . because my job involves posting a lot of samples by mail and corrier every day this has cost them a great deal of money. i dont think the uk has got its customer services in order, even when someone is wearing the uniform but not working they still represent the company.

it looks like i'll be thinking differently.

please apple owners dont send me spam and abuse, i am not telling anyone else not to buy apple products, nor am i saying that apples are a bad type of walkman or computer. i thought i would share with you why i wont be buying an apple but i am sure they are great computers.

does anyone else have an opinion or advice for handling matters and situations like this? writing to companies complaining doesnt help so i thought not giving them money might somehow get them to sort their act out.

Thanks everyone podcast

Just to say that every thing is ok with my mum now, shes back at home and comfortable. THanks to EVERYONE for your thoughts on my comments board, that is fantistic!!

And thanks to madge weinstien for her thoughts and mention too. please vote for madge at podcast alley to tell the world that she is such a nice person.

done a quick podcast that turned into a problem with uploading to my host.

mum ill

mum poorly. comunity nurse advised mum 2b admitted to hospital for a 2 days observation and care if she gets much worse. taxi due in half an hour, packing overnight bag. rang work and fine about me taking tomorow off work. fingers crossed treatment works out ok.

be thankful for each day with your family as you only have so long. make the most of your time. never hold grudges, your family, your friends and your enemies.

always by her side. always.

roger

Iron Beak

F1505

Pas attention smalls del roger

Roger, eu aprecío de su vostra, whitesnake, richard marx y los trabajos del cafe triste tienen elementos que interessano el piacere de mis oidos.

Ripartisco teile il vostro piacere da podcast "Madge Weinstein" mit lesbischen a piacevole e ripugnante con liebe flaps por fish dihren.

FPO - http://www.otherarena.com/art/head/ricflair.jpg

Meine agujero ist jambes Beine schmutzig, die piernas sacudaren. Apprécie ragazzi feiertage de vacances en Angleterre recherchant des garçons de dame au plaisir al piacere.

M.S.Pattinoils
144 Pescador
8755

bad advice

someone who shall remain nameeless who claims to be an expert with girls at work was having me on. i have just texted him and he was having me on about the letter. this makes me really angery sometimes - who are you supposed to trust?

snowglobe time

my nice snowglobe from the disney store. it is not proper snow in there but glitter instead. it plays winnie the pooh music when you wind it up. i now have 15 snowglobes in my collection and this is the biggest!!! 

waiting for adam curry.

A fiver for a hot chocolate and chocolate muffin!! Waited in starbucks for an hour and a half on saturday incase adam curry popped by for a coffee as i know he likes to go there. i have a great idea about podcasting that might make some money - i cant beleve nobody has thought of them yet!!!! unfortunalty adam curry is a very busy man and doesnt have time to answer his emails.  

the card from a secret admirer

the results of my hard work! i've let her know how i feel, showing her i am good at art and crafts whilst keeping that element of 'mystery' at the same time. just waiting until it gets properly dark then i'll nip round and post it.