saddam hussain

we invaved iraq to stop its government from executing its citizens and today handed over another citizen to its government to be executed. that is like police turning up to a bank robbery and sending some extra hostages into the building. we were meant to install western values, so why have we suddenly brought back hanging? micheal hutchins would be turning in his doorway.

lovely christmas

i have just got back tonight from a great night out and thought to check my emails.i am enjoying my time off here and do not want to go back home much. we had a lovely christmas day and i got a set of hunting knives, a bottle of wine and some garments i do not care much for.i have been spending a lot of time out in brighton going to pubs and clubs with my cousen.i feel like i have made new freidns just by sitting down,talking to strangers and being myself.brighton also seems so much more lively and happy than guildford does,the poeple love living here,everyone smiles,the streets are clean,there are big signs everywhere about taking pride in the place and residents do geneunly tend to go along with that.the only downside is that my testicles have not defrosted since i got here,i have spent all my christmas money on presents and drinks and when i dont work i dont get paid.back to the grindstone this weekend. i am not looking forward to going home but need to pay the bills.

brighton

i am here in brighton and happy. yesterady mother and i traveled down by coach to stay wih my uncles family. last night i went out with my cousin for drink. there are many young people here and they are all so freindly and polite compared to guildford. everwhere was very busy and noisey with the run-up to christmas. today has been nice. this morning we all went to church and now we are back i have been allowed to use my uncles computr before lunch is served. it is the fastest one i have ever used and can download porn quicker than anyone here can wank.we are eating beef for dinner and thisafternoon if the weather is nicer we will take mum for a stroll down the seafront then maybe go out again tonight.i am looking 4ward to tomorrow.

no positive future

i know that most people want to kill themselves after chrsitmas but after today i feel like getting it over and done with it now

i hate myself and want this to be over

merry christmas and a happy new year to all those who can afford it

rog

christmas is coming

yipppee!!! 1 week to go!!!!!!!. I have booked the christmas peroid off work and have been granted time away due to my "stirling work in the depaertment" and "high level of complaints". mother and i will going via natiional express to brighton over christmas to stay with my uncle. i am looking forward to celebrating christmas with more peple as it can be depressing by myself or having to work. last year was terrible. i think it will be good for mum to visit some family members who she hasnt had sex with before and hope that the journey is not too much for her.i do not like coach travel but trains are so expesnive.we leave next weekend.

i still have not purchased christmas presents for anyone yet,but did fill in a lot of cardds yesterday for everyone at work who i talk to. i do not feel in the chrsitmas spirit much right now, in some ways listening to podcasts all the time means i do not hear all the same christmas songs that the radio stations would play.i hear carols and shaking stevens played in retail establishments. i do object to my local sex shop selling dvds called oh cum all ye faithful, dick the whores, big donkey, ding dong merrily on thighs and jingle bell-ends. these are distasteful to the memory of christmas and disturb my thoughts. i brought another botox babes video instead and sat watching that last night. i must go to work.

i feel hollow

i feel very low right now.i have been working overtime & double shifts in order to save money for christmas.having mum at home in the winter and keeping her warm all day and night means expesnive fuel bills.i had my exam results though and have failed abismally meaning that i can no longer progress in my cureent job.i worked so hardd to pass the exams but feel like such a failier.mum says she is still proud but i know that a mothers love is unconditional. as is the love between a man and his pig. how i miss The Dutchess.

Dutchess do you wonder
what i am doing now?
for we both lay in shit
and have hairy skin

yet we are different
as i yearn to look in your eyes
you know not of love
just simple relationships of man and beast

so we parted so long ago
now i am so alone
i often wonder how you are
but know that you are happy

that said, i had a ok night out with that old tart the other night but do not think she was right for me. one word- unhygenic slag. i wore my smartest work outfit which impressed her i believe. but her fingers were yellow from smoking though. it did not matter for the duration of the feature presentation as they in my mouth but they were very noticeable during our drink afterwards. they also shook quite violently as she drank her barcardi which was offputing not to mention dangerous and a waste.she also talked about her ex's a lot and as i havent got any it left me with little compare with.

we talked about work quite a lot as we have that in comon but aprt from that i found i am just not interesting enough to talk about myself. i also notice that her breasts were like boiled eggs. not just because of their shape, but because she had the date of birth of her first son tatooed acros one of them in purple ink which looked like a blurred sell-by date. i doubt i could ever love her as this would be a constant reminder of her deflowering. we didn't kiss and i just waved her to her taxi. i felt sad but stand by my decision. now she ignores me now at work.

now i just feel alone this time of year and am typing my feelings into this blog.sometimes i feel like crying as i'm never moving up in life, just slipping. to think of my potential ten years ago and now looking at this disfigured reck who cant get a promotion, girlfirend or passport. i guess i feel hollow. and i guess her bacon strip probably feels hollow too given the 3 kids, 80 ex-boyfirends and half the ann summers product catalogue that she's had up there. fortunatly i never felt the need to test this theory myself. i would rather save myslef for someone pure and butiful and preferably under 40.that is all i have to say on her and should get over it. christmas is coming, the pubs and clibs around guildford will be full of lots of drunk girls all enjoying themselfs, chances are i'll get a kiss or too.

i shoudl say that casino royale was cleerly a big sony advert rather than a bond film. it missed all the women aand james bond music at the beginnig, instead they had a cartoon which looked like the pink panter intro. i would not have been suprised if 007 was being chased by inspector cluseo. i did not understard the plotline, and it was not a proper bond movie and i think charles brocalli woudl be turning in his patch if they say the mess they made of it.

i should sleep now and blogger has changed.