angry and alone

walked back from town tonight after being out by myself. all night was angry becuase i felt lonely. and all night lonely because i was angry. cant decide which but the two are related. women see that a mile off i am sure. if i saw a gril who had those problems i would talk to her and not jeer like they did. i cannot go on like this. weekend after weekend i put myself through this tormet . i really want to get out of guildford sometimes but have to stay out of duty to mother, work and adam. i wish i could start afresh with a new face and a clean record.i understand from watching gangster movies and listening to stool pigeon by kid creole and the coconuts that if i see a bad crime and report it to the police i can get put into a witness protection scheme with a new house and a new life for no money. guildford is not known for bad crime though, it cant even get that right and i am stuck in the most boring place in england.