Saturday, November 22, 2008

BBC, banks and bailouts are all connected

it seems right now that the only way to get things done in the united kingdom is for record numbers of outraged licence fee payers to leave a comment on the bbc web site. it has suddenly become the only gauge for something being morrily or politically correct when enough "Appalled from Conventry" type people leave blog comments saying how they shat themselves after a cloud resembling a giant arse appeared on a recent episode of Spooks.

the internet has made it easier to complain about things, if i saw something which offended me on the TV 10 years ago i would have calmed down long before forking out for the price of a stamp and posting it to Points of View ---- these days its as easy as clicking a link on the Daily Mail web site. i can see the danger with 'e-goverment' is that it'll soon be too easy to complain about trivial things to our polititions who be bogged down with hundreds of thousands of emails about individual pot holes, noisey bin men, lollypop ladies not smiling and cracks in the pavements.

several thousands of poeple rencenly left hysterical messages with the BBC when russell brand left manuel from fawlty towers an answer phone message un-tactfully introducing himself as his granddaughter new boyfreind. However, John Cleese hit the same bloke over the head with a telephone, repeatedly kicked him, made zenophobic jokes and at one point set the poor imagrant on fire after throwing a giant blamonge on his head - not a single complaint then and that was in the olden days.

today i read that 170,000 people left messages on the bbc web site complaining about the outcome of a game show. 170 thousand poeple with the nothing better to do than be bitterly outraged at the outcome of 'Strictly Come Dancing'... but to put that in perspective only 108 people left concerned messages on a recent article about the state of the budget and economy. we all deserve to loose our homes if we are more worried about the outcome of a dance contest than interest rates being higher than adam curry on holiday in columbia, the poeple in the UK are living in a dream world.

but when the bailiffs come knocking at least those 108 people can safely say they warned us, shame on the rest of you who were too busy with the outcome of a reality tv show to care about your money.

the irony is that they could have affected the outcome of their own reality prior to loosing their house by expressing their outrage the only way they know how. now gordon brown can stand up in the houses of parliment and say that only 108 of the nations constituents could be arsed about finances - so poo to you all, no amount of foxtrotting is going to help the fact you will be spending your christmas day noshing off sailors to help pay the mortgage this year.

for some reason licence fee payers want to be treated more like shareholders in the bbc. they each pay around 100 pounds a year thinking they run the joint. if they want to spend 100 a year to watch exactly what they want then i suggest a blockbusters membership card then we don't have to all put up with the same bland tripe that they call entertainment. if they really want to use this shareholders argument then it will take a majority of said shareholders to make decisions about what happens on the TV - 51% or more of the country will need to sign on to the BBC web site to get presenters sacked, dance contests overruled and full frontal nudity on daytime TV for when I'm working nights.

i am no expert when it comes to the census, but looking at the numbers - thats 170 thousand poeple out of the 60 million TV owners in the UK - and thats not a majority. this is in fact a lot less than the newspaper headlines claims of an 'overwhelming shocked majority of the country' to put things in proportion this would be more like 'a couple of arseholes next door who complain to the police every time my hamster farts too loud'.

i would like to point out two other shining examples of corporations run by shareholders - banks and car manufacturers who addmittedly havent had a very good time of things recently. its easy to predict a goverment funded BBC bailout looming, with the channel promising to pay back every penny of a proposed 70 billion pound loan with a 12 part series of Gavin and Stacy with interest paid back in the form of a christmas special in HD. i'll personally vote for that bailout - but only if it i get my daytime quota of full frontal which shouldn't overlap with any episodes of Gavin and Stacy.

i think the bbc needs to be run more like a dictatorship than the quivvering mouse. the director general needs to make an iron fist and make decisions that he sticks by and that we The People do not question and looking to leaders like stalin, pol pot and banatyne for inspiration. Life would be in put into perspective, a whopping 170,000 people would rise up to complain about loosing their homes, a mere 108 mentally ill people would complain about Sequin Idol and we'd all finally get a good glimpse of Amanda Lambs hanging bacon on primetime telly.

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