Friday, April 22, 2011

in trouble at work

I was repremanded by my line manager yesterday and she said "If you were really sorry you wouldnt have done it in the first place". i am confused because if I didnt do something wrong in the first place there would be no need to be sorry.

I didnt have much choice as there was a massive queue for the toilets and I didnt want to be late back from my break. Apparently 2 more strikes and I'm out. i cannot afford to be out of work right now as i am already in debt and working all the hours that God sends just to stay afloat. with the econimcal climate the way it is i dont think ii could find another job easily.

If you ask me people who leave their shoes unattended are asking for it.

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Monday, April 18, 2011

idea for olympics

I have just been watching an interview with a nice lady about the olmpic bobslay team and have got a good idea.

I am not an expert in pyhysics or sport however i think that filling the bobsleigh with fat people would give them an advantage as they would go down the track faster due to the increased weight. In the same way throwing a bag of anvils off a bridge would land faster than a paper aireoplane, gravity would pull 5 obese people hurtling down a track faster than a carbon fibre shell full of a team of skinny people. And it would look funnier too, espciellay in lyrca.

I dont think it is fair that fat sportsmen should be restricted to playing darts and monstor truck racing although they may get stuck in the bobsleigh.

Kiss the egg

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Thursday, April 07, 2011

my thoughs on nuclear power

it looks like japan has had another earthquake today. it makes me very sad. i also feel scared about the radiation and power plant that is going out of control. people say nuclear power is bad although this time last year i remember a few people were complaining about oil killing everything for 3 months. bp. you have to accept that whatever type of power you make there will always be casualties. if we want to drive cars, ovens and computerss we have to accept that you cant make an omlette without breaking a few eggs.
Prayer for energy

oil barons

staining the ocean

coal minors

trapped underground

windmill operators

waving your choppers

nuclear scientists

balding the locals

i take for granted

your discount heat

give me today cheap power

and do not kill too many innocent civilians

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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

found my computer

i hid my computer a while ago and forgot where. every internet site that i have to think of a new password suggests that my passwords are weak and easy to guess. i wanted to add an extra layer of security by hiding my netbook under the matress along with other my illicet material. i am happy and will be able to use the internet again.

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Thursday, March 03, 2011

Rusty Lee

the problems in libya have been weighing on my mind recently. i wrote a poem some time ago which still rings true and brings comfort to those suffering human rights violations during these difficult times. it is called 'Rusty Lee'.

the evenings entertainment is a pub
costing money you dont have
giving you cancer you dont want
for where is the lonely persons muse?

do nothing in this den of sin to entertain
must i splay in bed?
listen to radiohead?
dare i suckle the electric teat of television?

locking my body in this fortress of semen
in the attic of a thousand faceless harletts
comforted only by the soft clasp of a warm tissue
rubbed vigorously against this flacid wand of protien
that shall never by touched by womens fair hand

unsheaf, release, erupt and ease
23 years of lonelyness, waiting, crying.
where is Rusty Lee when i needed the laughter?
where is Rusty Lee?

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Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Apples child labour policy is nothing to be ashamed of

today i read a story about Apple admitting that they use child labor to make their expensive iphones as though it is something to be ashamed off. Child labour isnt a bad thing, children have been doing paper rounds for ages so why isnt that frowned upon? the Americans have 'bring your child to work day' so why do they have to be racist when a Chinamen brings his kid and asks it to help out? Fish Finger magnate Captain Birdseye runs his operation using a boatload of young boys and no one complains.

Acceptable - Captain Birdseye

At least apple teaches children to make expensive things to give them a good start in life. when they leave apple and get their own factory they'll know how to build cheap ipods and not just dip kippers in breadcrumbs. i wish someone told me how to make an MP3 player as a child and i would be a rich man now. Even hollywood portrays kids in the workspace as a good thing with films such as Big, Oliver, Shindlers List, Shortround from Indiana Jones and Taxi Driver portraying children as capable employees. If they dont like it they can always jump off a building.

Acceptable - Child chauffeurs

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Sunday, February 13, 2011

tv charity

a commericial for a charity for blind people is asking for thousands of pounds a month to look after guide dogs. i think the blind are being ripped off, dog food only costs 30p a can.

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Thursday, February 10, 2011

protest like an egyptian

i dont know why the stalemate is still going on in egypt nor why it is still headline news. nothing has changed since all the protests started yet i keep seeing the same picture of all the people in the square having a riot. it just looks like new years eve in trafalgar square every day, nothing new to see.


they have all been there long enough to be more organised and they seem to have cheaper access to twitter than i do, so there is no excuse to do something better. groups of people should stand in formation to spell out some words to get their message across like the crowds in football matches. if i was their president i would probably leave if i saw that.

egyptians are missing a great opportunity with the worlds media filming them to put on a nice display

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Sunday, February 06, 2011

luton riots

i am confused by the racist riots in luton on the news. the racists are waving signs saying 'BAN THE BURKA' but they are wearing masks and hoodies so you cant see their faces. these people are sending out very mixed messages.

nun costumes look similar to burkas but no one complains about them, in fact i think they look pretty hot.

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Thursday, January 27, 2011

spraying men

i am just watching the news on the riots in eygpt and noticed they are using water cannons. i always wondered about why riot police use water canons, espiecially in a hot country where i thought it would be quite nice to be cooled down. if you watch Ibiza Uncovered which is also based in a hot country even the girls seem to be up for being hosed down in white tshirts. water is a nice fluid, but it is also very expensive and rare in the desert.

you can buy bottled water for 3 pounds in some shops whereas wetherspoons sell cheap beer for around 1.20 a pint. beer smells aweful and if you get a pint spilled over you it's time to go home before the stain settles in. water drys out in 10 minutes and you can always put a wet patch down to excitement which is hardly a deterrant during a riot. maybe it would be cheaper and more effective to use beer in riot controls, especially in eygpt where it's illegal to drink. everyone would have to go home quickly before they got arrested for smelling of booze. i dont know, i am confused. maybe just use piss which is free.

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