Monday, March 28, 2016

it seems only certain black lives matter #blacklivesmatter

a lot of americans using the #blacklivesmatter tag on twitter complain that black people have less job opportunities than white people and keep getting shot. then the same people write nasty things wishing President Barack Obama was gone. these people need to make their mind up. personally i think he is the best leader of my generation.

Bla'Ck lives matter

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Friday, March 25, 2016

leave all muslims alone

i am very confused by ignorant people who complain about the muslims doing public floggings and executions. in 2 days time christian people will be celebrating jesus getting a public flogging and getting executed then eating chocolate eggs. religion baffles me.

on a side note i havent not been able to find any further evedence of a connection between dictators and mollusks either through missing genitalia or just in general. however i have noted that robert magombe does look like a friendly clam.



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Wednesday, March 23, 2016

the daily foot for week commencing 21st march 2016

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Monday, March 21, 2016

Bono should help the Syrian refugees crisis by doing this

observe the following pictures:

i find it hard to tell the difference between this mix of images of syrian refugee camps and glastunbury. people living in tents, wallowing in their own feceas and starving in a field. however refugees dont want to be there but the audience at glastunbury have paid hundreds of pounds for the experience. i dont know why they would.

i think a better idea would be to transport the syrian refugees into the glastubry field and give them a concert for free, then let everyone from london who works in marketing still pay 500 pounds and let them stay in that swamp in calais and play some U2 albums over a tannoy. Bono himself always boasts of his charitable giving so could put on a load of gigs at glastubury for free for the refugges. even though they probably dont undersntad irish they would appreciate the bland music.

greedy little turd

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Vote jeremy corbyn for a better social life

i am so fed up and angryby not having any money to go out at weekends when all my friends are out. i feel like i am missing out on all the fun while i just sit at home watching tv. i know i dont have a job but would like to be able to go out and have a nice time and maybe meet a nice pretty girl.  i blame my problems on the goverment and will happily vote for the next prime minister who promises the following:

  1. cheap heating
  2. cheaper meats and cleaning products, discounts for disabled people. i could not afford steak and oven cleaner today and had to chose one or the other. people shouldnt have to choose the basics because of inflation, if i am struggling can you picture how a retard is coping now?
  3. free broadband
  4. more homecare to wash mother who is bedridden because she fat and covered with lupus. i now have to stay at home and oil her instead of a qualified nurse when i should be looking for work.
  5. free mobile phone top up so i can get a job
  6. less tax on drink and cider so i can go out at weekends for a better quailty of life
  7. the govenment should pay for more jobs,, especially indoor ones 
  8. more benefits so can afford to go out at weekends to improve my social life and get Sky+
  9. faster computers for the poor so i can use it to get training and a job. mine cant run tyoutube sites very fast and i'm on it for at least 3  hours a day, if it was faster i could spend more time trying to get job and less time buffering
  10. cheaper buses
  11. improve benefits for ex-offendeds a s is harder to find jobs,no one wants to hire them also wipe records after 3 months. if they dont have a crimal record when they are cuaght again after 3 moths they wont be classed as a repeat offender so improving crime stats.
  12. less money spent on war so england can pay for these types of things that i need
i am looking towards the labour party to provide these items as they seem to be on the same page as me. i know Jeremy Corbyn is old and looks like a disgraced scout master but you should never judge a book by its cover, esepcially an old book in a coudroy cover and grey socks that got done for flashing in a caravan. if he lives up to all the promises hes made to the poor simply by borrowing money from china and taxing successful people then he will make the world a better place and i can enjoy life again. i can turn a blind eye to all that weird stuff he says and does.

vote jeremy corbin

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Saturday, March 19, 2016

octopus beak + hitler

today i am pleased to announce that i learnt that the octopus has a beak.

upon further examination of this diagram i have also noted that it has a single gonad just like hitler.

this week i will be investigating for any further connection between dictators and either mollusks or crustations and will publish my findings. i will also continue my search for a suitable job and mate.

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Thursday, March 17, 2016

Paul Daniels died today

he was one of the good ones and this will be loss to entertainment and the occult community. i am very sad.

now thats tragic.

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Tuesday, March 15, 2016

advice for syrian refugees

i have been reading the daily mail with interest on the current problems in europe. i am very confused by migrants because when it all kicked off syria they all headed north in winter and are now are suffering because of the bad weather and cold conditions. if anyone in syria is reading this and concidering moving out for a better life i would recomemmend heading south instead of north, especially in winter.

bad idea

in england when people finally realise just how crap it is we will usually migrate south to spain because it is warmer and drink is cheaper, very few english people would concider migrating to the north pole in winter because it is freezing - especially if they wanted to live in a tent. if you want to avoid war torn areas then i suggest driving south to somewhere nice and warm like israel, koala lumpa or iraq and then in summer you can just hop on a lorry to england and live here in a tent. in our culture a number of english people live in tents in the summer time, do it for recriaction and holiday purposes and deficate in buckets.

good idea

its like when you pick a holiday, some of us choose skiing and some of us choose a beech holiday. however if you haven't got a hotel booked then steer away from the alps.


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Thursday, March 10, 2016

job centers should be less depressing

i dont pretend to have all the solutions in the world but i think the unemployent figures would go right down if job centers were less depressing. if more people looked forward to going to the job center they would been keener when they got there to stay and go on to find a job. maybe some tvs playing erotic movies, a bar and a little snooker table.

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Wednesday, March 09, 2016

Virgin Media chaka khan i feel for you party video

an advertisment for virgin media internet has been playing on the tv recently which confuses and angers me. in the video which lasts approximatly one minute sees a house full of annoying young people dancing to chaka khan i feel for you. then the DJ leaves at the end without a valid reason but everyone jeers him / her / it to keep playing but it leaves anyway. watch it:

i am confused by the narritive, either:

a) the advert is real time. therefore the DJ plays a 3rd of chaka khan i feel for you  then tries to bugger off. if a DJ did that I wouldnt pay them. the crowd have every right to jeer them. why would a DJ travel all the way to a venue just to play the intro to a song then want to go home? this scenario probably didnt happen.

b)  the advert is set over the entire length of the party and edited down to one minute. this then assumes that the DJ played the same chaka khan i feel for you track all night as we the viewer see segmetns of time with everyone listening to the same song. if a DJ played the same track repeatly over and over again the jeering would come a lot sooner and they would be thrown out of the party via the window. this is also unlikely to happen although radio one did that for weeks when the ferrel williams happy song came out and noone complained. maybe listening habits have changed. as soon as the dj leaves a man chimes in with an ipad and starts playing chaka khan i feel for you - the same music that has driven everyone up the wall for the last 4 hours solid and got the last DJ jeered at. instead the ipad owner is hailed as some sort of god for playing the one possible song on the planet that noone wants to hear then virgin media are deemed as solver of all the worlds problems. there are plenty of other 80s classics but not a single person in the party had the common sense to turn off the router and drop some agadoo.

c) the advert is in realtime and the virgin media tarrif ran out within one minute thereby stopping the dj from streaming music. in my experience of using virgin media services this is the most likely scenario although why would virgin pay for an advert saying how limited their service was? this confuses me.


1) if i was a parent responsible deciding which broadband provider to go for (because i strongly suspect not a single one of these revellers was the homeowner) why would i purchase a tarriff if it encourages 100 students to turn up at my house while i'm on holiday, scrawl confidetial password information on my furnitrure in lipstick, deafen the neighbours, copulate with my vegetables then drop a deuce on the lounge carpet.

2) There is a man wearing a wooly hat indoors.

3) someone brought an ipad to a party.

maybe i am over thinking this and maybe i am angry because i will never be invited to a party full of pretty girls. or maybe i am angry because all the men in the party have beards that make them look like terrorists and pirates. but maybe i am angry becuase the terrorists will score with the pretty girls while i am stuck at home watching them less than a week after virgin media threatened to take me to court for late payment. this has tainted chaka khan i feel for you, i am going to bed.

i feel for her

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Monday, March 07, 2016

the daily foot

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Saturday, March 05, 2016

Minecraft is why the internet is slow

i have not been online for a very long time and have just managed to get the pc in the loft working again. it has taken me three weeks of arguing with virgin media just to get back into hotmail and blogger.

if technology and the internet wants to take off in this country they need to make things faster.i read once that computers double in speed every two years, i was looking forward to the utopia everything being available before i even thought i needed to download it, but surfing the web now is slower than when i left it years ago. all my bookmarks dont work, half the pictures on my blog are gone and the internet is worse.

everything now has videos on it. news websites have videos that stop me reading the news. poetry websites have videos that stop me reading poems. even youtube now has videos that stop me watching videos i wanted to watch . when i do see youtube videos they are too slow or are about something called minecraft. i remember the good old days of the internet when peoples modems would spend their time productivly downloading pornography but nowerdays they are too busy loading minecraft videos that they probably didnt ask for while they try to read poems.


i will spend the remainder of my day endevouring to remove the layers of dust, shattered ambitions, semen and pringles from my computer keyboard in order to update this blog to transcribe and document my thoughts, dreams and observations on the world as i see it in 2016 and find chinks.

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