Friday, July 29, 2016

ISIS have piles

every time a terrible attack happens from ISIS they always show a video of the terrorsts sitting on the floor stroking their little guns in front of a funny flag. i know if i sit on a cold floor for too long i always get grumpy and piles.  maybe ISIS members are misunderstood piles sufferers where they feel the only solution is die.

the west should buy furniture for everyone on the terrorist watch list to nip some of these feelings in the bud, i dont think anyone has ever commited mass genocide sitting in a comfortable sofa eating jaffa cakes before. even if its a nice stool from a charity shop it will give them something to sit on, ease their hemmoroids and maybe not being so angry about things.


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Monday, July 18, 2016

sadness riddles the internet

i am saddenned every time i look on the news and internet due to all the shootings and terrorism and the racists. it makes me sad and weep with so much death. i have resigned myself to watching reality television and reading pamflets until the there are happier things to read and watch.

outside i am smiling
inside i am grim
outside is positive
inside weeps
for this is just a brave front
up yours isis

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Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Diseased meat

this week i went to a european food market and a furry german attempted to sell me cured ham. i find it sad as a result of brexit that europe is already trying to palm british people off with diseased meat no matter if it is feeling better or not. i am only going to allow british pork to enter my body from now on.

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