Monday, May 29, 2006


its bank holday in england. except where i work we dont celebrate bank holidays. so i have had to sit at my desk all day. they have removed the games from the start menu on my computer at work and i can no longer use the internet for all the good sites . i have nothing to do during the quiet periods on my computer now but draw wonder you read about all these office people going crazy and massecuring their co workers, i felt like that today with a mixture of anger and bordem. morris says this is usual. i just go to the toilet, suck a polo and wait for things to pass.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

angry and alone

walked back from town tonight after being out by myself. all night was angry becuase i felt lonely. and all night lonely because i was angry. cant decide which but the two are related. women see that a mile off i am sure. if i saw a gril who had those problems i would talk to her and not jeer like they did. i cannot go on like this. weekend after weekend i put myself through this tormet . i really want to get out of guildford sometimes but have to stay out of duty to mother, work and adam. i wish i could start afresh with a new face and a clean record.i understand from watching gangster movies and listening to stool pigeon by kid creole and the coconuts that if i see a bad crime and report it to the police i can get put into a witness protection scheme with a new house and a new life for no money. guildford is not known for bad crime though, it cant even get that right and i am stuck in the most boring place in england.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

God Save The Queen

show your support for england this year by buying a flag for your car window which is mass produced in china by an american company so you can cover your blind spot whilst drunkenly operating a car using a mobile phone and terrorise english pedestrains just to speed to a pub selling australian beer to watch overrated overpaid foreigners kick a football round on englands behalf.

Monday, May 22, 2006

good mood

busdriver let me on for free.
work went ok and not a single mixup.
girl in canteen smiled at me.
discovered new video clip of adam
went to gym, leg didnt hurt
mum happy
watched big brother , very dramatic
read emails, nothing nasty

today is a good day, we;re off to get some sleep.2morow will be bad, i just know it.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

friday night update for the house

i have to have a break. i rushed home after work tonight to watch big brother. it is late at night and i have been trying to depyher and comprihend the latest contestents in the house. there is much noise and a lot going on which is hard to fully understand. i do not yet know where my loyaltys lie so am going to stay out of it for now.

there is a man in there who sounds like that police officer in police academy who makes all the funny noises. this confuses yet compels me for he is very clever although he swears a lot.

i do hope that the woman situation improves though, fingers crossed a decent one finds that golden ticket to win a place in the big brother house. the chances of any woman who eats 40 kit kats a day being decent are remote. i think the housemates can wave goodbye to the shopping budget in 2 weeks time when a giant greasy haired spotty biffa with a chocolate bar fixation joins the house. i doubt the current selection of prettygirls will care though as they will be too busy in the house with their fingers down their thoats and hiding vomit in carrier bags to care about a greedy munter theiving all the pies. kinga was built for comfort, not for speed, and had way about her which i found mesmerising. i wish she was back again but i heard she is dating a stylist instead which upset me.

i will continue to watch E4 tonight until i fall asleep on the sofa. i feel i can trust them and it is always nice to wake up with other people who are sleeping, this is a sobering feeling .

Thursday, May 18, 2006

big brother

there goes my summer.1 minute to go........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Da Vinchi Code

i cant move for the Da Vinci Code . on tv, in the papers, posters. it is everywhere. i do not understand what all the fuss is about.

its very irrisposible making a whole film about someones codes as it makes it much easier for woodbe criminals to guess passwords, PIN numbers and the combination to their bike lock. we have to change our passwords at work every month and i'm always forgetting mine. leanardo's network administrator must be shitting himself right now . if he wasnt dead. have the experts concidered that all these hidden codes scattered throughout history were just davinchis way of hiding his passwords? painting a picture of the mona lisa over his pin number was probably a lot safer than a post-it note with 'MaryMagdaline123' stuck to his monitor. all these beardie historians are just conspiracy theorists trying to create a fuss.

i will be sorely disappointed if the outcome to the film is that life is like a box of chocolates

i call it fuss but i think it is just hype and promotion. i notice with blockbuster films like this they take all the extras they make for the DVD and play them on channel five a week before the movie release. this is yet another reason not to buy a DVD player as i can just tape all the extras on the TV and watch the whole lot next year when i buy the film on VHS. i'm onto their scames. Roger Smalls - 1, Sanyo - 0.

i also feel italians should have added the letter 'H' in the spelling of Vinci so it looks like it sounds. they should also have named 'Pizza hut' as 'Petesar'.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

crash mother skype

i keep trying to update my blog but it has hung on me twice now, i have lost everything i typed in and now i have forgotton what i wanted to say. to prevent the deep feeling of loss when a computer forgets things i will keep this post short. however i now see a countrydiction with computer storage adverts that say "this CD-ROM is capable of storing 10000 documents" and "this memory card is capable of storing 500 photos' as my entire computer cant remember 3 paragraphs of text without going rainman on me.

i spent a long time talking to mum tonight and it scared me knowing that one day she would die and i would be alone. i dont want that and it made me want to cry. that wasnt what i originally typed in but it has been bothering me more so i thought i would share that instead of me complaining about stupid second life. noone is on skype any more, i found myself calling echo123 tonight for no reason.

if this doesnt save this time then i will get angry.

Thursday, May 11, 2006


if anyone reads this who knows about mobile phoens can anyone suggest a mobile that would allow me to record good quality audio that i can record podcasts with, take photos during the day and in the dark and record high quality video clips if possible. i am not sure if they have zoom lenses yet but that would be usefull, i need to be able to record stable videos whilst running as my current cameraphones output is very shakey.some games would be nice, and all those ringtones too. the main thing is it has to be cheep (free with a prepaid contract?) and allow me to copy the files to my computer for podcasting and sharing videos. my current phone is falling to bits as i keep dropping it. i would like to have another nokia as i understand the menus, everyoene i work with has sony ericsons and razers. i would apprciate any help thanks.

ps - adam didnt sound mad with me for my comments today which is a releaf. a listener thought i have a girlfriend which sadly not true. one day i hope to have one, summer brings with it warm weather and prettygirls in skimpy cloths.madge also played my invite to stay with me when she visits europe on her show today and i hope that she is able to make it.

comic strip blogger

i found a web site about comic strip blogger yesterday at , it seems he is nasty not just to me but lots of other people. i got very upset about his poisenous drawings last night and recorded a comment to adam in anger. i now regret being angry with adam as it is not his fault, he is just a porn in this nutjobs rain of terror on the internet. i also dont understnad why he wants be a spokesman for poland and europe - i do not believe his is the best advert for poland, or indeed human life in general. i wish i could have retracted the email to adam now i realise what i said and pray he is not mad at me. comic strip blogger can go shove his head up his arse. actually looking at his grubby little po-face it looks like he already has.

Finals for the Miss Poland competition 2006

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

big brother

its that time of year again where i get 12 new friends who are on call 24 hours a day - its 8 days until big brother on tv. i am really looking forward to it and think that it will take my mind off not having many real friends in guildford. i have had a couple of offers from people in guildford and woking who have read this journal who would like to meet up. i have had one too many liasons with unsavoury people via the internet that have left a very bad taste in my mouth and do not wish to repeat this again.i am sure that some are nice people but even sending a photo you do not know what you really get. one has to be safe.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006


i should check my email more often and listen to adam faster, going online is impossible at work right now as they are checking everyones computers. they are checking everyones computers automatically and can tell what websites people are looking at - is on the list of sites that dont work during my lunchbreak, yet the strange thing is lots of the more obscure fetish sites still work fine. you would have thought they would be the first ones on the list to be banned. there seems to be a high demand for podcasts right now because all the podcasters are off playing second life rather than recording shows. i will try and record my thoghts for a podcast and upload from home. i feel very angry that i am not part of this 3d world, surely they are breaking disabled website laws by not allowing people with dialup computers and no 3d graphics cards to join in.

i must go hangup before ntl gets any more of my money, i saw on the news today they are laying off thousands of NTL staff so they will need as much of my hard earned cash as possible to pay the redundencey costs. tried my postcode around 5 broadband rproviders websites today, all are not availabe but 'coming soon'.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

formula one

what i used to enjoy wtching as a child has now turned into the most boring sport in the world. its a shame that only a handful of the lcuky rich and famous can enjoy the sport, its like a dynasty of racing drivers all from the same family. the shoemackers (michal and ralf) being like the kennedys of moterracing. perhaps if kennedy was driving at the same speed as micheal shoemacker in his open top catalac he would have been a much harder target for a sniper to kill and perhaps still be alive right now. it would also have made those public parades much quicker events to conduct than driving round a 5mph.

due to political correctness the prettygirls in the pitstops have been forced to cover up, this is meant to be the most glamourous sport in the world for heavens sakes. personally i think those topless gymnastics videos doing the rounds on the internet are much more glamourous, a sport that i would happly pay formula one ticket prices to attend. its crazy. these formula one 'drivers' are not even proper drivers, they cant deal with real driving. throw a few caravans on the track and make them pay for their own petrol, then we'll see who's the real 'driver' out of the buttons and the shoemackers. it is funny that they moan about these new rules such as keeping the same tyres on the car for a whole day. i remember when i owned a car i never had to change my tyres from the time i brought the car right until the crash,these people complain if they havent had a change every 5 laps. watching the race on tv this afternoon was a total waste of time, this rich mans sport is out of the reach of ordinary people like me.

Friday, May 05, 2006

second life

i am fed up of hearing about Second life all the time. i dont have it so dont know what it is all about. now when i hear it mentioned i fast forward five minutes, even iffitfis adam or madge. if they mention it near the end of the show then i;ll just stop .

the strange thing is that adam encourages people on the roof of his castle in second life, yet if i were to climb on his roof of his house i think the neighborhood watch would be out again. i live in guildford and i innocently wander past his house on the way to his road most days, but all these freaks build virtual lighthouses nextdoor (in the middle of dry land??!) and it is i who gets called a stalker.

patricia was right about this, this is not rightf when there are real life thgs to do. even if i found a nice lady on this game i could never actually have any sex at her in real life . and my idea of a good time isnt waggling my mouse up my arse while some ex-convict hells angle pretends to be a pixellated mo'fo' lesbian hooker cybering her booty for 10 billiong space dollers then spilng love gravy into a glittery sock. this is how i imagine R2D2 and buck rogers to make love 100 years from now, but call kme old fashioned - i hope my first time will be with a woman covered in flesh and blood. with a tidy rack too.

for now let get podcasters talking about themselves again. am i alone??

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

too much to download

i feel relly left out right now. i cant download that many podcast shows any more as my dialup is costing so much and work wont let me use the pc for personal use. i keep hearing all the podcasters playing a new computer game and meeting on there. i cant use it without a credit card and modem and feel so left out. i cant meet people in real life let alone this second life they speak of. this makes me so fustraighted.

I'm missing out on a vast world of horse dating

when are they going to make broadband afordable to people like me? typing this into blogger has probaly cost me 20 pence and i'm now having to resort to purchasing manual pornography again due to the rising costs of line rental. cant my ISP being one of my friends and family to allow free phone calls? the newsagent gave me a dirty look for buying this scud mag earlier on which made me feel aweful. but it is he who should be ashamed and not me as he is the one profiting from this filth, (which i might add is also ruthlessly degrading to the elderly community). and i've just noticed it is all in german. he even refuses to do refunds. crapcrapcrap. i now feel overcome with guilt.and i havent even christened the magazine yet. i just keep seeing the expression on that poor dinnerladys face and cant bring myself to do anything anymore.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

pot kettle