Friday, December 31, 2010

crappy new year

bum stains. i have just left the new years eve party early as it was not very nice. Nobody understood what my costume was meant to be - a couple of people thought i was either midge ure or highlander but noone has ever heard of the steampunk.

I guess i am ahead of the times. a nasty man pulled off the 'TEAM' out of the word 'STEAMPUNK' from my costume leaving me in a flasher jacket with S'PUNK running down the front of my trousers holding a broken food processor. It took me around 10 ackward minutes to realise that this is not good look for approaching girls at partys so i decided to walk home. they were all too nice anyway and well out of my leauge.

i am upset that i missing the kissing at midnight but in a way i am happy to be here kissing mum and morris instead whilst watching jools holland play with his hootnanny.

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steampunk costume finished

as well as buying some bottles i have also completed work on my costume for the fancy dress party ttomorrow evening. All afternoon i have been rummaging through the loft finding bits and bobs and now have my long raincoat, goggles and modified food processor - all stylised up!!!! for the uneducated at the party who dont know what the latest fashion is i have glued the word 'STEAMPUNK' using cogs along one trouser leg which will explain things; i just hope those lot can read!!!! ;) .. It is very rewarding to make my own taylor made costume for the party and it beats renting out a spiderman outfit that probably wont fit anyway.

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Wednesday, December 29, 2010

chillout mp3s

i keep seeing adverts on TV and itunes for chillout mp3s and CDs but i do not understand the modern obsession with being chilled out. this music did not exist 10 years ago, why has 20th century man suddenly got so stressed and angery that he needs to listen to overpriced albums of whales farting to Dido? i recently heard the term 'Chillax' from a wanker in a wine bar which i belive to be a combination of the words chill and relax. i am sure it was his intent to increase the meaning of the word chill and to look cool but instead it made me a lot angrier and made him look like a tosser. there are enough words in the dictionary already without having to make up new ones.

click to chill

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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

dumped for simon cowell

some people from work promised to go out with me tonight to the kareoke and i have been looking forward to it since christmas. earlier i got a phone call telling me kareoke was too cheesy and they wanted to stay in to watch a repeat of the xfactor final instead.

the irony.

simon cowell - antichrist.

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Monday, December 27, 2010

steampunk costumes

i am watching the christmss edition of doctor who. although i do not understand what the hell is going on i do like the 'steam punk' costumes that the alien people wear. I am meant to be going to a fancy dress party on new years eve and a steampunk costume seems like a good idea. i was originally planning to go as columbo however i only have the long raincoat so everyone would think i am a flasher again .

For those who do not know what steampunk is, it is a new fashion just like the goths, except that you wear a black top hat, monacle or welding goggles then glue cogs to some trousers and any modern technology that you carry. if yoou have seen the film 'Wild Wild West' or 'Back To The Future 3' you will get the idea. i think it looks really cool in an old fashioned futuristic way.

on friday i plan to wear mums bowler hat to the party and i can still wear my columbo coat if i stick some mechanno all over it. i also have a broken food processor in the kitchen so i'll carry that around with me to accessorise. at least i will be dressed up fashionably at the party and wont look like an idiot.

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Sunday, December 26, 2010

computers for africa scam

i have a new computer for christmas from my mum who i love so i am now back online. It is a net book and has usb, trackpad and norton antivirus. The keys are very close together making it hard to write but i feel this may improve when i pratice. I have not been been able to use a proper computer for a very long while now so it is nice to check for the latest emails and pornography without going to the public library.

my last computer became so slow due to all the spam so i donated it to a computer charity for needy children in africa, i now realize that i am victim of a scam as the africans have already starting using my old computer to spam my new one.


today i got an email addressed from myself today telling me ive won the lottery which was strange. Here is an explination of the way the scam works;

  • 1:nigerians send you lots spam

  • 2:your computer slows right down and becomes useless

  • 3:you respond to an advert in the local paper asking for spare computers for needy people in africa

  • 4: man comes round to your house, picks up your computer and posts this to nigeria

  • 5:go to step 1

dont buy
I plead with all 59 readers of my blog to not fall for the same scam and loose their expensive computers and contribute to the ever growing spam problem. But the good thing is i have new computer which is the best chrismas present i have had ever for a long time.i will be restoring all my old files and clearing broken images on my blog before going back to work and surfing the interenet from the toilet.

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Saturday, December 25, 2010

test 2

this is a test