Binge for minge

I am very angered by the goverments announcement that they will be detering binge drinking by making drinks more expensive. I rely on cheap alcholol both as a way of forgetting how bad things really are and stand little chance of finding the girl of my dreams in a nightclub full of sober women.

a new hope

if i were to go out on a night out with Ed Miliband i am sure he would realise that men like us cannot attract women without plying them with alcohol and lies first. now that his new law is in place it will cost Ed and I a weeks rent in Smirnoff just to start a converstation up with a couple of nice skanks at the bar. Ed is thinking about goverment policy with his wallet, not the concequences with his heart.