back online again

i can finally get into my blog. they talk about britain becoming 100% connected, yet these so called experts couldnt even let me into my blog. i think it had a lot to do with forgetting my password.


because my life is so very boring right now i have had little to say and therefore twitter seems an ample recepticle for the few words i have.it is an intregeing site and it allows me to update my thoughts via the phone which is a very exciting prospect when walking home and/or using the toilet. twitter has been in the news recently as being 'the next big thing', i would loved to have seen the BBC when they announced a PR spokesman from Twitter would be coming on to explain the site, but he was limited to do it in 140 characters or less. i am not sold on twitter yet for the same reason that i shall not use facebook----- none of the people whom i communicate with in guildford use it, we are all on SMS, i dont really want to reunited with old school bullys nor torture myself with images of prettygirls that never were.

BBC, banks and bailouts are all connected

it seems right now that the only way to get things done in the united kingdom is for record numbers of outraged licence fee payers to leave a comment on the bbc web site. it has suddenly become the only gauge for something being morrily or politically correct when enough "Appalled from Conventry" type people leave blog comments saying how they shat themselves after a cloud resembling a giant arse appeared on a recent episode of Spooks.



the internet has made it easier to complain about things, if i saw something which offended me on the TV 10 years ago i would have calmed down long before forking out for the price of a stamp and posting it to Points of View ---- these days its as easy as clicking a link on the Daily Mail web site. i can see the danger with 'e-goverment' is that it'll soon be too easy to complain about trivial things to our polititions who be bogged down with hundreds of thousands of emails about individual pot holes, noisey bin men, lollypop ladies not smiling and cracks in the pavements.



several thousands of poeple rencenly left hysterical messages with the BBC when russell brand left manuel from fawlty towers an answer phone message un-tactfully introducing himself as his granddaughter new boyfreind. However, John Cleese hit the same bloke over the head with a telephone, repeatedly kicked him, made zenophobic jokes and at one point set the poor imagrant on fire after throwing a giant blamonge on his head - not a single complaint then and that was in the olden days.



today i read that 170,000 people left messages on the bbc web site complaining about the outcome of a game show. 170 thousand poeple with the nothing better to do than be bitterly outraged at the outcome of 'Strictly Come Dancing'... but to put that in perspective only 108 people left concerned messages on a recent article about the state of the budget and economy. we all deserve to loose our homes if we are more worried about the outcome of a dance contest than interest rates being higher than adam curry on holiday in columbia, the poeple in the UK are living in a dream world.



but when the bailiffs come knocking at least those 108 people can safely say they warned us, shame on the rest of you who were too busy with the outcome of a reality tv show to care about your money.

the irony is that they could have affected the outcome of their own reality prior to loosing their house by expressing their outrage the only way they know how. now gordon brown can stand up in the houses of parliment and say that only 108 of the nations constituents could be arsed about finances - so poo to you all, no amount of foxtrotting is going to help the fact you will be spending your christmas day noshing off sailors to help pay the mortgage this year.



for some reason licence fee payers want to be treated more like shareholders in the bbc. they each pay around 100 pounds a year thinking they run the joint. if they want to spend 100 a year to watch exactly what they want then i suggest a blockbusters membership card then we don't have to all put up with the same bland tripe that they call entertainment. if they really want to use this shareholders argument then it will take a majority of said shareholders to make decisions about what happens on the TV - 51% or more of the country will need to sign on to the BBC web site to get presenters sacked, dance contests overruled and full frontal nudity on daytime TV for when I'm working nights.

i am no expert when it comes to the census, but looking at the numbers - thats 170 thousand poeple out of the 60 million TV owners in the UK - and thats not a majority. this is in fact a lot less than the newspaper headlines claims of an 'overwhelming shocked majority of the country' to put things in proportion this would be more like 'a couple of arseholes next door who complain to the police every time my hamster farts too loud'.



i would like to point out two other shining examples of corporations run by shareholders - banks and car manufacturers who addmittedly havent had a very good time of things recently. its easy to predict a goverment funded BBC bailout looming, with the channel promising to pay back every penny of a proposed 70 billion pound loan with a 12 part series of Gavin and Stacy with interest paid back in the form of a christmas special in HD. i'll personally vote for that bailout - but only if it i get my daytime quota of full frontal which shouldn't overlap with any episodes of Gavin and Stacy.



i think the bbc needs to be run more like a dictatorship than the quivvering mouse. the director general needs to make an iron fist and make decisions that he sticks by and that we The People do not question and looking to leaders like stalin, pol pot and banatyne for inspiration. Life would be in put into perspective, a whopping 170,000 people would rise up to complain about loosing their homes, a mere 108 mentally ill people would complain about Sequin Idol and we'd all finally get a good glimpse of Amanda Lambs hanging bacon on primetime telly.

YOU are the cause of this recession

now that winter draws in and people stay indoors there is less to do on the streets so i will start using my computer instead. a lot of things have changed since i last wrote my blog on a regular basis . i no longer process blood, urine and fecal matter for the health service and since i got out i have been working very long hours doing factory work and having nothing to show for it.






i do miss how easy office work was and now i am doing real work highlights just how easy an office job can be when you sit by a computer all day and pretend to work when you are in fact using internet explorer instead. maybe the reason why windows is more popular than apple in offices is becauase it can multitask between excel, msn messenger and solitare quicker than you can say 'the boss is coming'. however it is more obvious to my boss when i'm meant to be in charge of a convayer belt but reading todays paper that i am not working, and this could cause me to loose my job and yet another coleegue to loose their finger whereas its easy in offices to get away with a few extra windows on the screen. i do miss the 30+ funny emails a day though.









in a way i feel cheated that i am earning ten times less than i did at a desk but working ten times harder. plus i dont get to sit down any more, tea and wank breaks are a lot shorter and those special times that make up the fabric of the office calender are not observered either; the times when entire days are devoted to non-productive messing around in the name of good causes andd festivities (comic releaf, children in need, bring your child to work day, december). although these help cover the bottom of a bucket with 5 pence coins for ethopians they atually cost the british businesses billions in lost time for the sake of the accounts department dressing up in bondage gear for the day, i would call this industial sabatage. instead charitys should blackmail bosses into coughing up a few thousand pounds in return for NOT distracting their staff with sponsored custard pie fights and baked bean baths to raise awareness of global hunger.

these charitys might also havve a word with the BBC who seem hell bent on sabotaging their own TV schedule by replacing their un-funny serious shows with un-funny comedy versions. the only thing i found funny was an unintentional Eastenders special where the actor who plays a peodofile called Tony who seriously said the line 'i cant wait to do special things for children in need tonight'. that i think was a bad choice of charector and line given the occasion and only one step away from the bbc rolling out gary glitter on stage singing about gang bangs with etheopian babies on his knee. i am suprised that the daily mail havnt picked up on the eaasteners mistake yet but give them a few more days of no one else caring , run a horror story and then 30 thousand people who never saw it will complain to the prime minister resulting in eastenders taken off the air for 6 months and the live culling of terry wogan in public.



anyway if you are reading this in an office between the hours of 9 to 5 then i hold you personally responisble for contributing to your company and countrys demise. although people like me do not earn as much as you we work harder - a lot harder. compared to my laast office jobs and everyone i know talking about what they dont do at work i have seen this with my own eyes, today, whilst breaking my back lifting heavy boxes non stop in a florecent lit factory with horrible Eagle FM competing to the noise of heavy machinery during an 8 til late shift.

now stop reading this and get some work done